| so have kicked all of those guys out of my life as prospects save but one. i don't know if i mentioned him before but he defintely was in the running...john... i enjoy hanging out with him. hes funny, he's cute, and i can relate to things with him plus i just like to talk to him. we watch the rocky horror picture show and across the universe together. im surprised that a guy like him likes those cheesy musicals and such that i adore. there is just something about him that just clicks and feels right and i feel comfortable when im with him. here's the kicker though.... he lives in conway with thomas. wouldn't have been a problem when i lived in wilmington because it was only a little over an hour away. however now he is 6 plus hours away. i'm going back up to wilmington in june to see some friends and move the last of my furniture. i'm hoping to make a pit stop or detour so we can hang out and all that. i just love the simplicity of things when we did hang out, fun in the little things. i'm really excited to see how this goes and where it goes. gosh i just can't wait to see him again... ( : |
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| this is who i am i'm not beautiful like guys want. i'll never be anything like that so love me or hate me. it doesn't change what i'll never be. ♥ |
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| hmm i don't know what to do...juan i like soo much for him even though he is a cutie its all about what's on the inside and what we talk about laugh about and share. but he lives in new jersey and i am in georgia. sam he wants me but he has a gf and is saying he will break up with her just so he can fool around with me even though i told him even if he did no promises even though he is soo sweet and cute. sam is young though and i don't know if i can handle that. hmm justin.. soo many feelings have been there with him and he has been through soo much with me. he wants to sleep with me and kinda be with me but he wont break up with his girlfriend and while i wouldnt mind being with him and seeing how it goes i don't touch or mess around with guys who have girlfriends i dont care how unhappy he says he is. michael just wants to fuck me cuz he thinks im hott but as much as i miss sex im not that desperate and not a whore which sadly he has now become a manwhore since i last saw him senior year. chris is a new friend and i thinbk he's cool to hang out with but i just don't like him that way and when he kissed me it was horrible!! it was all teeth and he slobbered all over my face! the only reason i let him kiss me was to see if something was there that i was missing but it soo wasn't now i have to deal with tell him that it's just not gunna work us trying ot be more than friends because it's just not there for me. then there is john. he's cute he's fun he makes me laugh and smile what can i say i ginuinely like the guy. there's just something about him and instead of being over 20 hours away he's only six and he's in a town where i know people too so its more realistic being ableto spend time with him and going to see him. i went from having no one to soo many choices on my plate...why is it the ones worth having and thinking about with earnest are so far away? |
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| its so much easier to write when your in love..all these emotions running around just waiting to spill out..i miss it to be honest.. i haven't written like that in over a year at least..i took those sacred moment for granted when i could take a pen and paper and fill pages with things that would take my breathe away after reading it back aloud.. i need a muse... |
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